Waiting Till You’re Good Enough

 

I started oil painting with my dad maybe 20 years ago, it was a fun activity to do together, and he was my instructor, teaching me about oil painting, mixing color, composition, brush strokes, etc. You think I’d be really good by now, but because for the first 18 years I only painted a few times a month at best, and once every 6 months at worst, I wasn’t really improving.

A few years ago, we did a plein air painting event in Cle Elum, in fact we did it for 3 years in a row.  I actually entered a few paintings in their show at the end.  It was scary, because I didn’t think I was very good, at least not good enough to enter a painting. But, my dad convinced me to enter them, and one year one of my paintings got an award. It gave me a little more confidence.

Then, we attended two of the Plein Air Magazine Conventions where you had the opportunity to watch amazing established artists paint and teach how they approach painting in the studio and plein air. I loved to watch them, just like I loved watching my dad. I started noticing that they all had different approaches, but still had beautiful results. At the first convention, I mostly watched other’s paint. At the 2^nd convention, I went out to paint, but got so overwhelmed. So, I packed up my paints and walked around watching other artists. When I got to Thomas Jefferson Kitts, he asked if I was having fun, I said that actually I was overwhelmed and didn’t feel like I was good enough to paint here!  He told me not to look at it that way, just look at it as FUN! If it’s not fun, why do it? I liked that, and I continue to hear him say that in my head, even now.

I decided to take some classes from art instructors. I took 2 from an artist close to me, Michele Usibelli. I love her style, and the color she put in her paintings. I was so insecure, and I was sure I was way out of my league taking classes from her. But, she was so encouraging, and generous with her knowledge, I felt more at ease, and I learned a lot from her.

After that, I decided to paint regularly, at least 4 times a week. I did that for a while, practicing what I learned. I painted with dad off and on too. But, life got in the way, and I slacked off, and my improvement stalled.

I learned from Michele and others that you have to paint at least 500 paintings before you start getting really good. So, at the beginning of this year I made two decisions, I would paint at least 5 days a week, and I would start sharing my paintings online.  The sharing part was hard, but because I did, I actually sold 2 of them!

I was listening to someone who said that art is NOT our baby! As artists, we love to create, so the process of conceiving an idea, composing the painting, and the actual painting of the piece is what we are here for. After the painting is done, we should let it go and move on to the next creation. Think of it like sky diving, you don’t do it because of the landing! You do it because you love the anticipation and the actual action of skydiving! (No, I don’t skydive, and never will!)

They also said you don’t need to wait until you think you’re good enough, because you never will. You create, that’s your job, and you let other’s decide whether they like it or don’t, that’s their job.

Whether someone likes it or not is NOT why you do it, you do it because you are an artist, and you need to create! That IS the reason! So, create, enjoy, have fun, put it out there, and let it go. Then do it all over again!

By the way, you can see my art progress on my Juliart FB page https://www.facebook.com/juliart1129/ 

Why I Hike Alone

 

I have lived in Washington State for almost all of my life, and as a kid I may have hiked a handful of times, but I never thought about it as something to really get into, ever!

Then I read Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. She hiked the Pacific Crest Trail alone, and it helped her find herself after some really bad times in her life.  I loved that idea. I decided I wanted to try hiking for exercise and for my inner self. I took my dog, Abbey, and my first hike was Snow Lake at Snoqualmie Pass on September 4^th, 2012. I hiked with my 4 year old grandson several times that fall, because I was babysitting him a lot.  But after that fall, I hiked alone.

So, why do I like hiking alone? There are several reasons

1.       I can go where I want- I can do a hard hike or an easy hike depending on my needs that day. I can do a trail with a waterfall, or a view, or a lake, or just a trail through the quiet forest. I don’t have to okay it with other people, I can change my mind at the last minute, and it’s simple and spontaneous. Occasionally, I hike with my dad, and usually I tell him the day before where I want to go, and he can say yes or no. He always says yes though! I use the Washington Trails Association website and phone app to help me choose hikes, it’s the best!

2.       I can go when I want- I am retired, so my time is my own (at least until recently!), and with the Google weather on my phone, I can look at the weather for the week and pick a nice day and just go!

3.       I can go at my own pace- I don’t have to wait for anyone, or keep up with anyone; I can go as slow or fast as I feel like.

4.       I don’t have to visit with anyone- That is the reason why I can do so much thinking; I don’t have to be social. (I am naturally introverted anyway!)

5.       My mood improves- I believe it’s just like a runner’s high, the endorphins kick in, and I am happy! And what is so much better than running, there is always a payoff at the end of the hike, a view, a beautiful alpine lake, a powerful waterfall, something that catches your breath and you have to sit down and take it all in!

6.       I do a lot of problem solving- It is amazing how clearly I think when I am walking, even just around where I live. Maybe it’s the improved circulation to the brain, the oxygen in the lungs, and the endorphins making me smarter (?), but I actually come up with solutions to problems, or I come to a conclusion or decide on one of my life’s truths.  Hiking is therapy to me. I feel it in my brain and my heart when I don’t get to do it!

A lot of people ask me if I am scared, worried about attacks from people or animals, of hurting myself, or getting lost. No, I’m not, because I am extremely careful and I have my strict safety rules.

1.       I only day hike, so I make sure that I am done before dusk.

2.       Someone always knows exactly where I am and how long it should take.

3.       I hike well-travelled trails.

4.       I read WTA’s trip reports and if there are bear or cougar sightings, I pass.

5.       I have actually gotten hurt before, I sprained my ankle on the Annette Lake trail.  But, I still managed to get home before anyone worried about me. I limped down using a walking stick for support and if I couldn’t have done that, there were people on the trail who would have helped me.

 

      In my mind, the benefits completely outweigh the risks, so I plan to continue.

I Don't Want to be Perfect, I Want to be Free!

I started this blog in 2009, but I stopped posting because there were people who didn’t like what I wrote. I was asked to take down all the “offending” posts, which I did. I still wrote, but then I would put it away or delete it. It just didn’t feel the same, as though telling the blogosphere connected me in some way.

Today, I was listening to Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast, and she was interviewing a writer who said she did it not because she had a need to be agreed with or liked, but because she just needed to be known! Maybe that’s me too, I want to talk about what I think about, what I go through, why I do things, and put it out there as a place to be completely honest. 

So, today I decided that I will start posting on my blog again! My posts will be about things I do like hiking, oil painting, maybe about daily life things. They will be about my relationships, aging, my revelations, my inspirations, my memories and even my frustrations and regrets.

 But, I am doing it for me!  I don’t care if anyone ever reads it, I don’t care if someone uses what I write against me, I don’t care if people don’t like it, but I DO care about putting it out there, because there is some accountability in that, and there is some freedom in that! 

I don’t want to be perfect, I want to be free.